pretty, you’re funny,
you like good music, and
you seem like you’d be a
slut. like, you might let me
do things that would be totally
degrading to most girls.
it’s hard to look away.
my next fix. i can’t
stand how this one substance
has ruined my life. when i don’t have
in in me i feel weak and sick. hello my name
is bringtheruckuss, and i’m a ranch dressing addict.
1. vodka and a webcam.
2. sing Whitney Houston songs while crying.
3. go to a fancy restaurant where there are several couples, sit with them and eat what they don’t finish.
4. go hang out with your little brother. see if he’s interested in you.
5. scratch the axe wound.
1. take your mother out to dinner. i heard she puts out.
2. did someone say guys night out? no, someone did not say that. drink beers.
3. stay on tumblr complaining about how lonely you are until 3 in the morning. everyone cares, and we definitely want to hear about it.
4. visit your local strip club. find a girl that kind of looks like your ex. cry during the lap dance.
5. punish your cock like it killed your dog.