tomyhusband: shall never be heard in our home. If a guest at a party requests a song by Randy Newman, we should probably reevaluate said person, and take further action regarding them physically being on our property. No Randy Newman. Ever. Not ever. Not even as a joke. It’s not funny, it’s cruel. bitch, shut up. randy newman for fucking ever.
That awkward moment when you miscarry on your...
dear "totally heady" teens,
i don’t want to hear about your fucking salvia trip. stop quoting terence mckenna like nobody else has ever heard of him. time wave zero is fucking retarded. oh, you think pot should totally be legal and stuff? you’re thinking about starting a NORML chapter in your home town of 2,000 people? i remember the first time i smoked weed too. shut the fuck up. don’t call me and...
remember the shitty music school i used to teach...
my old boss from there, who is a jesus freak that never paid me on time and made me do tons of shit i wasn’t contracted to do, is wanting me to come back. i’m broke but still sending my resume out at least 3 or 4 times a day. should i take the job where i would only be making enough to keep my weed jar full or should i hold out for something worth a goddamn? also, it’s a...
rap songs that do not currently exist
let me see yo panty line pick my booger frilly sock G dolla store cashier anthem make it deaf clap rolla skate drive by sniff my butt i suck at dominoes where my baby powder? do da doo doo maya angelou bounce red lobster wedding henn-dog picnic coco butter titties lemme sniff some socks 5 year old in’a baby carriage bonus: the dozens
dear chex mix,
more flat brown things, please.
i don't do cocaine, i just like how it smells.
the band - when i paint my masterpiece
zombies are fucking dicks.
new york, california, or florida
morrrgan: This is me as scary Beyonce perfect.
That really awkward moment when you win at life...
i go nuts for big ol' butts.
Anonymous asked: What makes you follow someone?
i hate run. but make feel good. i want puff puff.
i like B100 cause it makes my pee neon yellow.
Anonymous asked: Why don't you follow certain people?
how to wake up the first time your alarm goes off:
Just follow these steps and you are guaranteed to jump right out of bed the moment your alarm goes off! eat a breakfast with whole grain toast or a high fiber cereal and fruit, blueberries are great. eat a light high fiber lunch with little to no meat or dairy. for dinner have some mexican food and two or three high fiber bran muffins. set you alarm for 7 am. chase a hand full of...
where are all of these purple and orange people...
I'm a keeper.: Why Socialism? by Albert Einstein →
stillmindstillcosmos: “I recently discussed with an intelligent and well-disposed man the threat of another war, which in my opinion would seriously endanger the existence of mankind, and I remarked that only a supra-national organization would offer protection from that danger. Thereupon my…
when john boehner get's angry...
you’ve got a raging boehner.
Driving Under the Influence of Weed
mybiggestregretever: My biggest regret ever was driving under the influence of weed. I wasn’t totally high or anything but I was high enough to accidentally drive in front of on coming traffic before turning left. I wasn’t hit and there wasn’t any swerving involved but looking back I feel super stupid and Im never doing that again. Especially since I just got my license. [Female, 16] ...
vice president joe biden's thoughts during the...
“ok, time to clap… WOO…no? ok, just wait… la la la la doobeedoo now it’s definitely time to clap FUCK YE…oh ok, not yet. this is so hard. the guy next to me smells like coco butter.”
boehner is darker than obama.
time to cut back on tanning time, johnny.
more girlfriend requirements
skin like plastic 7 feet tall love to suck toes got a body hair fetish just wants my money hairy ass arms booty like kim face like jerome bettis leg titties teeth like corn niblets tea party member