All men are enemies. All animals are comrades.

Dear people trying to sell your Sega/NES/SNES for an insane amount of money,

I know what you’re doing. You don’t, but I do. You’re not just selling an old game console you pulled out of your closet, you’re selling your childhood. Your leisure time from your adolescence is all wrapped up in the sentiment you’ve attached to that hunk of plastic. It’s fine, that’s one of the same reasons I collect Sega shit. I’m trying to reclaim those parts of my fat little chubby kid years. One of my favorite things to do in the world is play Soniceat some starburst, and transport myself back to 1994 and imagine myself as a carefree, beardless little kid wearing a XL ‘94 Olympics t-shirt (the one with Izzy) and basketball shorts. But that nagging sense of nostalgia tugging at the part of your heart that gives you a panic attack at night when you think about how you’re going to die one day is no excuse to charge $80 for a Sega Genesis. The retail price for a used Genesis that’s been cleaned/repaired/improved is like, $20 and can be found for as low as $5. Now you might think, “Oh well, it’s worth whatever someone will pay!” Yeah, if your a goddamn cunt. The only people that would ever pay $40-$50 more than retail for a Sega/NES/SNES are clueless old people trying to find something that their kids/grandkids will like. You’re going to sell a SNES to some clueless dad wearing a tucked in t-shirt, cargo jorts, and loafers with white socks for $60 over retail because “you can.” And do you know what’s going to happen? He’s going to take it home, thinking he’s just done something cool, and proudly present it to his son, only to be immediately devastated by the look of utter disappointment on his face when he says, “But I wanted a PS3!” He’ll probably try to resell it pretty soon after that. That’s when the real knockout punch comes because when he does the tiniest bit of research online he’ll see that there’s no way he’s going to be able to get his money back. Good job, dickbag, you made a dorky dad hate himself.

Anyway, yeah. People that over charge for classic video games and consoles, I hope you get raped by an elk. 

Oh, and $15 for Shaq-Fu? I hope your family gets kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel. 

  1. syzlak reblogged this from bringtheruckuss and added:
    Preach on. Shaq Fu is only worth $13 at MOST
  2. palindromepanda said: i hope i get kidnapped by a mexican drug cartel.
  3. jspurg said: oh. my. god.
  4. misguided-sadist said: This is amazing.
  5. bringtheruckuss posted this