I will be the president/king/dictator. I’m in charge and there’s no way to vote me out. I’m your best bet. Trust me.
Fart Tax: If your fart exceeds a previously agreed upon decibel level, there will be a tax imposed upon you that is automatically withdrawn from your bank account.
Close all loopholes: Literally. Every loop with a hole is filled with whatever is handy.
Mandatory hallucinogens: Once every 2 months all citizens are required to take a spirit journey personally guided by me and/or Bobcat Goldthwait.
Legalize murder: Are you still going to be a little shit to your waiter that’s doing his/her best to serve 12 tables if they can legally kill you? I would assume you might choose your words more carefully.
What I say goes. Any and all rules and laws are subject to change at any moment.