All men are enemies. All animals are comrades.

My plan for the USA

  1. I will be the president/king/dictator. I’m in charge and there’s no way to vote me out. I’m your best bet. Trust me. 
  2. Fart Tax: If your fart exceeds a previously agreed upon decibel level, there will be a tax imposed upon you that is automatically withdrawn from your bank account. 
  3. Close all loopholes: Literally. Every loop with a hole is filled with whatever is handy. 
  4. Mandatory hallucinogens: Once every 2 months all citizens are required to take a spirit journey personally guided by me and/or Bobcat Goldthwait. 
  5. Legalize murder: Are you still going to be a little shit to your waiter that’s doing his/her best to serve 12 tables if they can legally kill you? I would assume you might choose your words more carefully. 
  6. What I say goes. Any and all rules and laws are subject to change at any moment. 
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  4. tank-commander said: i imagine doing mushrooms with you as a hilarious and enlightening yet terrifying experience
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  6. onefootinthegrave said:…
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