All men are enemies. All animals are comrades.

how to ride out a storm

  • stock up on inebriants.
  • stand as close to the window as possible, if you don’t you won’t be able to see all the cool storm shit that’s going on outside.
  • if there’s a tornado within walking distance go look at it. 
  • check yourself for breast/testicular cancer.
  • if there’s hail, go find the biggest one and put it in the freezer. don’t wait until it’s stopped hailing, they melt fast. 
  • go steal your neighbors Romney signs. 
  • break into your neighbors house and go through their pill cabinet. 
  • use your imagination instead of porn to masturbate.
  • look at your phone every 5 seconds to see if you have a signal so you can make a blog post about how terrible everything is. 
  • take a nap so you don’t feel the roof falling on your head and squashing the intestines out of your butt hole. 
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