Him: I just can’t believe we elected that Muslim AGAIN!

Me: He’s not a Muslim.

Him: Just because he said he ain’t don’t mean he isn’t. 

Me: There’s no such thing as a “secret Muslim.” Besides, I don’t think Muslim is the word you wanted to use anyway, was it?

Him: He’s a Muslim, I don’t care what you say.

Me: I think the word you really want to use is nigger and Muslim is just what you call him to seem less racist. 

Him: Oh, come on. I ain’t a racist. 

Me: …

Him: But he’s a nigger, too. 

Me: …there it is.