All men are enemies. All animals are comrades.

Some of the cuts that the sequester will bring to Alabama

  • $11 million: primary and secondary education
    • $9 million: teachers, aides, and staff who help children with disabilities
  • 940 fewer recipients of college aid and 280 fewer work-study jobs
  • Head Start eliminated for 1,100 children
  • $2 million: environmental funding
  • $176.9 million: reduced pay for 27,000 DoD civilians (furloughs)
    • $91 million: Army base operation funding
    • $8 million: Air Force operations
  • $230,000: Justice Assistance Grants
  • $472,000: funding for job search assistance, referral, and placement
  • loss of child care for as many as 500 children
  • $144,000: reduced vaccination funding
  • $457,000: upgrade funds for public health facilities
  • $1,180,000: grants to prevent and treat substance abuse
  • $165,000: 4,100 fewer HIV tests
  • $102,000: services to victims of domestic violence
  • $865,000: meals for seniors

Basically, this 100% preventable political ploy by the Republicans is going to cripple the states that are already limping by, which coincidentally are the reddest states in the nation. Way to vote against your own interests, dumbasses. 

Oh, and if your job has anything to do with the defense industry (which is almost everyone in my city) you are FUCKED. 

  • coworker: go ahead and get the Mexican pogo stick out of the truck for me.
  • me: the what?
  • coworker: the jackhammer.

less than 10 minutes ago

Him: I just can’t believe we elected that Muslim AGAIN!

Me: He’s not a Muslim.

Him: Just because he said he ain’t don’t mean he isn’t. 

Me: There’s no such thing as a “secret Muslim.” Besides, I don’t think Muslim is the word you wanted to use anyway, was it?

Him: He’s a Muslim, I don’t care what you say.

Me: I think the word you really want to use is nigger and Muslim is just what you call him to seem less racist. 

Him: Oh, come on. I ain’t a racist. 

Me: …

Him: But he’s a nigger, too. 

Me: …there it is. 

dear women,

  • that dress doesn’t make you look fat, your gigantic belly does.
  • no one cares about your stupid fucking cat.
  • you’re successful, good for you. now get back in the damn kitchen.
  • you’re probably just PMSing or something, so just calm the fuck down. everyone’s mom dies.
  • church dates are not dates.
  • who the fuck said you could wear shoes?
  • you get to vote, i get the remote.
  • stop talking and start using your mouth how god intended. sucking my half flaccid dick.
  • reading makes your tits look small.