1. Make yourself appear to be a liquid. That will probably freak it’s shit out. 
2. Try to find another wild animal that could take the bear in a fight, maybe a moose or a mountain lion, and pit them against each other. 
3. Let it hit your blunt.
4. Introduce it to Doctor Who and then sneak away just before the end of season 6. 
5. Pretend you hear your mom calling and that you have homework to do. 
6. Talk to it about Jesus. 
7. Try saying, “Treeto dobra ee soy yota ab buno nokka.” 
8. Just walk away, I doubt it even cares. Who do you think you are?
9. Give it a roll of Charmin so it can clean it’s filthy ass. 
10. Flip it off as you do a sweet kick flip on your skateboard and roll away. 

That’s right, listen to the dirt, son. Discover it’s secrets. Play in it’s mind. Become the dirt. Dirrrrrrrrrrrt.